Without even one Kangalby Darlene on 07/07/11
"...for the first time in over 30 years we are without any Kangals, not even one..."
This was a portion of an email from an extradordinary lady who has been in the Kangal breed for over 30 years...and for the first time in all those years they are without at least 1 Kangal in their home. This was what I read first thing this morning after I woke up and it's laid heavy on my heart all day...
Contemplating a life myself without even one Kangal in it is not a thought I like to dwell on for long. It causes my heart to feel squeezed as dread tries to flow freely in. Perhaps to some that may read this that have never owned a Kangal I might sound a little (or alot) mellow dramatic but I'd be willing to bet that almost all of us that have these dogs would feel along similar lines.
It causes me to wonder, "why do I feel this way?" and I'm not sure it's completely explainable. I've said before that people are very passionate about the specific breeds they love and I'm no different. I just happen to believe that our Kangals are beyond other breeds and while these other breeds are awesome in their own right...well, let's just say there is only one candle lit and it just happens to suspend over this Kangal Dog breed. :)
My dogs and I are not equals...I will always be 'Mama in charge" around here but there is definitely an element of a partnership in this relationship I share between me and my dogs. I trust them in so many ways that are important to me...with my family, with me, with our livestock.
I can't put it into words and I don't want to sound lame in an attempt at trying so suffice it to say...
A huge emptiness would fill my heart if I looked out into a pasture and didn't see Thor walking around like he was king of the world...and if I didn't see Canan laying there, little miss independent, I can handle all things except mom not talking to me when I've been naughty...
Something would seriously be amiss if I didn't walk out my kitchen door and see Hediye laying by the gate in her pasture...looking at the kitchen door as if she had been waiting all day for me to appear...and Warrior laying next to her trying to convince her that she was his 'new woman'...lol
An emptiness would fill my heart if I looked out at the pasture where the pond is and didn't see Lokum and Yaylar laying under the rowboat that is turned upside down on the pier. It's like a cave to them and little Yaylar cuddles up with auntie Lokum, wanting to be just like her when she grows up.
If I were to look over to the cow's pasture and not see Maverick who is most definitely a "man's man", strolling around the perimeters with a confidence that causes you to stop and observe, I would feel that something critically important was missing in my life.
If I were to look out the front doors to the pasture where Dawn resides with sheep, and not see her laying under her tree always keeping an eye on her charges, it would cause me to feel empty.
And if I wasn't able to go down to my little valley and see Sula kissing the goats, always checking on them, making sure they were ok (she is such a little mama), I don't know if I'd want to continue doing all I am with all my animals. It just doesn't seem right to have cows, but no Kangal with them. I can't imagine having goats but no Kangal to stay with them. I would feel more nervous about the sheep if they didn't have their Kangals...there is such an evident vulnerability with the sheep. I might still be able to have pigs lol because I don't keep a Kangal in with the pigs (for obvious reasons lol) and I probably would still have bees because they are on their own...I can't trust them with the dogs lol. But the rest of it? For me, they go hand in hand...horses, cows, sheep and goats with my Kangal Dogs.
I'm not sure how a breed of dogs can fill the heart with so much that is unexplainable but I do know that after reading about this dear woman being without a Kangal for the first time in 30 years, it hit home and stayed with me all day. About a half hour ago, before I even began to write this particular blog, I wanted to go outside and sit for a while with each of my dogs...one by one, just sit and spend time with them. Words aren't important, there's no way they couldn't know how much I love them already...but it was dark by then. So tomorrow no matter what...no matter where they may be laying (well except for under the row boat...I don't think I'd want to venture under that lol) I plan on taking a little time (time that seems to be flying by so rapidly these days) with each one because *I* need to.
I pray that the most special Kangal pup this woman has ever had, finds a home soon with this special lady.