Sheesh!by Darlene on 01/24/14
It's been so long since I've written a blog post that when I came online to write one, I couldn't remember how to pull the appropriate programming up.
Life has been such a whirlwind for a long time now. Couple that with the fact that there are times when I feel quiet and do not want to put the things that are in my heart and mind out for public review. It's very vulnerable, at least the way I communicate in the written word, because right or wrong I share things on this blog and in my writings that give a glimpse into how I perceive something or how I feel about something...and there are just times when I need to close the shop down and be quiet as I journey through the days that God has destined for me.
Life on a farm has a way of consuming all your thoughts, time and energy. It continues to be a work in progress, building this, fixing that, installing the rest. It seems to take so long to actually see the fruits of the labor...those inbetween times can feel like pure drudgery. I'm starting to feel that excitment, looking foward again to all those things that we were burned out on the past Fall. Gardens, bees and all the outside work that needs to be done. The farm turns into a maternity ward as the cows, goats and sheep begin to deliver their babies.
I've learned that the 'down time' during the winter months is critically important. It took me a long time to learn that pushing to get this done and that done will eventually burn you out. I've had to learn balance...work hard and rest well. That's God's will for our lives because He is a God of balance.
For the past couple of years I've been investing alot of time and heart into making handcrated soaps and body products. Over time it's become a passion because like everything else on the farm that I love, I believe that not only is it healthier for us, it also honors Him...using His creation and the good things He's blessed us with, to care for ourselves in a healthier way.
I can't help but see His hand in all of this. For a long period of time, I worked tirelessly on the farm, learning things I had no desire to learn but had to out of necessity...giving up so many things that had been important to me in years gone by. You can't walk around a farm in heels and a dress. It just doesn't work.
As I began to delve into the handcrafted soaps and lotions I knew, because of the journey that He's taken me on, that this was a blessing from Him. He so often asks us to give up things that are so hard for us to let go. The truth is, it's because He desires to give us something better. As silly as it sounds, because it's "just soaps and body care products", it's so much more than that for me. He knows why I feel that way and He knows how vulnerable my heart feels with gratitude for this blessing He's brought into my life.
With that said, He's been my Inspiration, my Mentor, my Creativity Consultant. I have often gone to Him, feeling like I was up against a brick wall trying to figure out how to translate the vision that was in my mind into a real and tangible product so I prayed...reminding Him that He's the Author of creativity and artistic interpretation. He's answered time and time again and I have squealed with glee as He's inspired me with 'this or that'.
The important point here is that I have learned He's not only concerned about the obvious big and important things that we know He's already concerned with. He very much desires and yearns to be a part of those little things in our lives...the details that are not important to anyone but me. A new type of intimacy in my relationship with the Father has grown as I ponder in His presence, "what do You think about this, or that...what should I do?". He always answers because He's always there and it touches my heart that His heart is touched because He's grown to be important in all these little, insignificant, unimportant details of my life.
I don't know how this particular blog ended up going in this direction. :) I do know that as I wrote, I said to Him a few times, "I don't know what to write".
I'll let it stand 'as it' and publish it, hoping that it makes a little sense. :)...knowing that it's ok to ramble on about how much I love Him for so many reasons...even if it sounds silly in the typewritten word.