'Round and 'Round and 'Round I go...
by Darlene on 03/13/11
March 12, 2011
Where I will stop, I don't know. At least not yet.
I'm finding my mind is like a movie reel this morning...playing over memories of the beginning, till now. I think to myself, "where do I start? how do I communicate in the written word an experience that has impacted my life in unexpected ways, permanently and forever?"...
I think about the blogs I have written so far and they are 'in the moment' musings and experiences I have. But there are rare times when we're impacted to the point where, even though the world and all the things in our lives continue to revolve, we ourselves can do no more than stop in stunned silence.
That's where I'm at right now. A chapter in my life is coming to a close. In this "book" that comprises my life, this particular 'chapter' is profoundly important. It's a chapter in 'my' book but it's a chapter that when I review it, astonishes me even now. Little did I realize years ago as I fluttered around in my life...kind of like a butterfly that flutters from bush to bush, that the draw on my heart that lead to the Kangal Dog would eventually lead me here to where I am right now, at this moment in time.
I've known for months now that I would write something like this, some day. I didn't know when, and even now I don't know exactly what needs to be said...what is in my heart that will soon transpose itself into the written word...but I guess we'll see where I end up by the time I finish this blog.
March 13, 2011
I started writing this particular blog yesterday morning. I felt a need to begin it but got carried away with the flurry of activity on the farm. Yesterday afternoon I received an email from Ed Luthy who informed me that Char had gone Home yesterday morning.
For the rest of the day and evening I was overwhelmed with the news. I had thought that I would be able to write about all that lies on my heart right now but this morning I realized that it will take time. There's no way that I can fully explain everything I've experienced, learned, received, in one short (or long) blog. It will take time and will unfold in the days to come. I will capture the wealth Char passed on to me and somehow figure a way to pass it on to you. I don't think it's totally sunk in yet either but what has, already causes a void to fill my heart.
And then...
I remember that not only I, but all of us have a gift that she gave us in her dogs. I have something she loved very deeply...the Kangal Dog and specifically, all the dogs on my farm. I have no dogs from any other breeder...there was never a need. Char had all that I could ever want in this breed. They were her passion, as they are mine so I still share that with her.
She started out as my breeder and quickly became my mentor and my friend. I would tease her and call her mama Char (which she loved) because she was just that type of person. To those of us that knew her, you'll understand. And to those of you that never had the honor of knowing her, you will...
Through the Kangal Dogs and their puppies here at Shadow Wings Farm. Char and Ed worked tirelessly with this breed in a variety of ways. The dogs that they raised are rock solid in every way...temperment, working ability, conformation, et al. They typify all we learn when we research their history in Turkey. Not only did she preserve all that the Kangal Dog is, but did so with all her heart. That 'heart' is seen in each of her dogs. Those are not just 'words'...it's really, really true. I've experienced it every single day since I brought her dogs home to my farm last October.
Last night I kept thinking about how fragile life can be and I couldn't get pass the thought that Ed and Char, their Misty Acres Farm and Kennel will continue to live on for many years to come. There will come a day when someone will adopt a Kangal puppy and when they look at their pedigree they will see "Misty Acres "So and So", and wonder the history that accompanied that lineage. I know that I have often wondered that as I've looked back in the generations that have preceeded my pups. I'm so grateful that at least in part, I know quite intimately, the history of the dogs from Misty Acres.
I'm still in the process of building my site and have a long way to go. But anyone who gets a puppy from me can go over to Char's site and see a history that is incredibly rich in each of the dogs I breed. Take a moment if you are so inclined, and step back in time to experience the gift you are being handed from the one who made it all possible for us.
Oh geez, I miss her.
:(
